Disclaimer: I know there’s a ton of Star Wars books, but I’m basing this critique solely on the information from the films. I also was going to critique the whole film but I wanted to see if people would actually like what I’m trying to do with this blog. So if people actually like this I will finish nitpicking the film.

The title doesn’t make any sense

Well that’s it! The Skywalker saga ended with no Skywalkers left in the galaxy though this movie is literally called “The Rise of Skywalker.” No, Rey is not a Skywalker unless palpatine was in a romantic relationship with some Skywalker. Maybe the title is about Ben Solo coming to the light side? Even then, he still falls when he gets kiss by Rey. Also if we buy into the idea that Rey is a Skywalker, wouldn’t a better title be “A Skywalker Rises For The Third Time?” Anakin Skywalker grew up to be one of the most powerful Jedi/Sith, while Luke also grew up to be a powerful Sith. Overall, I think they could have come up with a better title for the movie. There’s been rumors about the movie originally having a different title and script. You can read more about that in the link below

https://cosmicbook.news/star-wars-duel-fates-colin-trevorrow-script-leaks

Palpatine speaks!

These writers get probably get thousands of dollars but the best introductory sentence they could come up with was “the dead speak.” This sounds like something matthew mcconaughey would say in his “philosophical” social media videos (link down below). Adding “the dead speak!” to the opening crawl feels so unnecessary. If you read it without that part, it sounds totally fine.

https://twitter.com/mcconaughey/status/1212097743897841664?s=21

The next problem with the opening crawl is that it says that Palpatine broadcasted a message through out the entire galaxy saying that he’s back. How did he manage to be on every radio signal? Can anyone broadcast a message throughout the entire galaxy? Some person tries to be romantic and transmits a signal confessing their love to someone with some 80s Rock love song just to be rejected. Imagine how embarrassing that would be? I also wonder how Palpatine announce his return? He was like “hey it’s Palpatine, y’all thought I was huh? Well I’m not and I’m coming for y’all. You ain’t going to stop me this time because this time I got red stormtroopers.”

Palpatine leaves behind his home address

So the movie starts off with Kylo going to Mustafar but it looks totally different. For more details about why it looks different see the link below. We don’t see why Kylo goes to Mustafar, the film literally starts with him going into the planet. Was he doing research on the planet for a science project? Or did he just wanted to experience 500 degree weather? Maybe he was doing the 500 degrees challenge. He finds the Sith wayfinder that is supposed to lead him to Palpatine. So anyone who finds this Sith wayfinder can go visit Palpatine and have coffee with him. Does Palpatine have a challenge where the first person to the find the Sith wayfinder gets to spend an entire day with him and learn the ways of the Sith? The movie shows that there is two Sith wayfinders, but are there more? Why would he just leave an object with the coordinates of his location anywhere, risking being found by the Resistance or a Jedi? Overall the Sith wayfinder was a lazy way to get Kylo and Rey together for the not so epic fight against Palpatine.

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-rise-skywalker-mustafar-planet-different-changes/

A long time ago, in a galaxy with great medical insurance

Not only did Palpatine survive through the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War, he survived falling to his death plus the explosion of the Death Star. Seriously how old is this guy? How hasn’t he died of old age or a serve illness? When we first see Palpatine it looks like he’s connected to something. Maybe he was on life support? If so, does that mean he can get ill?